@kyanny's blog

My life. Opinions are my own.

Inspection

Preparation was hard. 
The taste of laxative was not good. 
I felt nausea a bit, but I could hasitate it. 

Inspection itself went well. 
Although the condition of colon was not perfect, overall it was good, as my doctor said. 
Thanks to painkiller, I didn't feel pain. 

I went home and took a rest. 
Unfortunately, I have to another inspection for stomac at early next year, that must be so hard.  

Give up

I can't continue what I'm doing anymore. 
It's too stressful to keep doing as daily job. 
People only see the surface of the problem, and say what they just come up with. 
I has been thinking it again and again and again already. 
It's over. I can't do more. My heart is hurt almost every day.
I hate myself angry too many times.
I  want to escape, for being a nice guy. 

SNS などで知人らの活躍ぶりが目に入ると、自分は何をくすぶっているのかと暗い気持ちになる。

休日のほうが気力も体力もわかず、疲れやすく、元気も失いやすい傾向がここ数年ずっと続いている。それだけ平日は気を張っているということでもある。

leetcode という、アルゴリズム系のプログラミング問題をオンラインで解くサイトが数ヶ月前に話題になっていたらしいことを今頃知ってやってみた。これ系昔からからきしダメなのが一向に良くなっていなくて悲しくなった。少し気が向いて勉強しても続いた試しがないのでものにならない。